Gee willakers everybody! Well I had no idea that folks would get real upset if I compared my buddy John McCain to JFK. Why, they have the same first name! And I coulda sworn JFK was a Republican! Plus, John and JFK both fought in World War II so they have that in common and John McCain was even tortured by the Italians so you know he's REAL tough.
And now people are saying mean things about me because I ran for president as a Democrat and now today I said they're hyper-- hyper--- hyper.. part.. ti... san. Hyperpartisan. I learned that word on Sesame Street! I don't know what it means but it sounds super bad. I don't like those meanie Democrats ever since George Bush kissed me at the State of the Union address. Swoon! What a cutiepatootie.
Anyway, I'm here to tell you about why my buddy John McCain would be the bestest president since George W. Bush, who I HEART, and even though he wouldn't be as superduper as Reagan I think he'll be gooder than those meanie Democrats.
Here's why I think John McCain is the best guy ever. When I was voting for the war in Iraq (FYI Osama bin Laden used to be the president there), a bunch of meanie Democrats called me some real bad names like "traitor" and "turncoat" even though by golly I've never even turned any coats in my life!! Well my buddy John McCain got real mad at them and he threw a telephone at Harry Reid and told them to pick on someone their own size and since no one is shorter than me that means no one.
WOW. I'd never even HEARD some of the curse words John said that day.
So now John McCain and I are the BESTEST buddies. He lets me polish his shoes and take out his trash and spoon feed him his fruit sauces (John says solid food makes him constiflated), and I just think he's a wonderful man. Yesterday John said he might even make me his Vice President! Isn't that nice?
Oops. That's all the time we have for today! Intern Joe signing off.
E-mail your questions for Intern Joe at mccainisinsane at gmail dot com