The John McCain Comedy Tour

Hey there, wheelers and dealers! McCain campaign manager and Verizon lobbyist Rick Davis here, and have I got a deal for you. Trust me 18-25 year olds, you haven't seen anything this radically tubular since the Razr flipped your lids!

For a limited time only, for the low low price $2,300, I'm pleased to offer you tickets on the John McCain Comedy Tour!! See our wise-cracking Senator from Arizona tell some of his favorite jokes!!! You'll laugh harder than you do while listening to Tenacious D on Verizon VCast. I love Josh Black!

Here's a sneak preview of some of Johnny McCain's best stuff. Have you heard the one about suicide bombers?



Oh, he slays me! Get it? Suicide bomber?? Slay? Ha ha! McCain's not the only funny one on the Straight Talk Express.

Or how about this one about two guys from Ireland?



Well campers, truth be told I don't know if I got that one. But the Republicans in the background freaking loved it!!

So remember, send in your checks for the federal campaign limit of $2,300. Oh what the hell, go ahead and send a check from your dead grandmother too.

And remember folks, cell phones don't cause cancer, they cure cancer!! This is Rick Davis, hanging up.

Great Moments In McCain-Is-Insane History: The Chelsea Joke

In 1998, when Chelsea Clinton was 18 years old, John McCain made this joke at a fund-raising dinner:

John McCain:

"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?
Because Janet Reno is her father."

Classy, McCain. Classy.

[Salon]