MCCAIN: Listen to me you Potato Head son of a bitch.
MR. POTATO HEAD: Look, John, I....
MCCAIN: I'll smile for this photo op, but don't think I don't remember what happened in Idaho in 2000.
MR. POTATO HEAD: Ouch, please don't squeeze me so hard. John. I can explain. Look, I'm not even from Idaho!
MCCAIN: George W. Bush 80% of the vote??? Alan Keyes 19%? Do you know what it feels like to come in third place to Alan FREAKING Keyes?
MR. POTATO HEAD: John! Please! I'm not even a real potato!
MCCAIN: Don't pull that crap on me, you Potato Headed freak. Idaho's primaries are on May 27, you'd better hope for a better outcome. Just watch me turn you into a french fry.
MR. POTATO HEAD: I'm made of plastic.... I...
MCCAIN: Don't THINK I won't nuke Idaho. Because I most certainly will.
MR. POTATO HEAD: Help! Someone please help!
Monday, March 24, 2008
McCain vs. Mr. Potato Head
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
A Conversation Between John McCain and Sanity
SANITY: Look. John. We need to talk.
MCCAIN: What?
SANITY: I said we need to talk.
MCCAIN: What's that you say?
SANITY: We need to talk.
MCCAIN: I'm not having any of that liberal hokey pokey.
SANITY: Talking is liberal?
MCCAIN: In my day people followed orders! They said, "Yes sir! Thank you Mr. McCain! May I vote for you Mr. McCain?"
SANITY: Um. Ok. Anyway. About Iran and Al Qaeda.
MCCAIN: BOMB BOMB IRAN!
SANITY: Exactly. I don't think you understand. Iran is not training Al Qaeda. They're enemies. Iran is Shiite and Al Qaeda are crazy ass Sunni Wahhabi. There's no link at all. People are starting to question your grasp on foreign policy.
MCCAIN: Iran is training Al Qaeda. Did you hear me?
SANITY: I know, John. You said it again today. The first time it was universally considered a gaffe. But now you're just lying.
MCCAIN: You bet your salty tea kettle I am.
SANITY: I don't even know what that means.
MCCAIN: Do you know who I am? I'm John Fucking McCain!
(WSJ: McCain Again Links Al Qaeda to Iran. Obama camp's response: "We wish the McCain campaign well as they try to figure out the difference between Iran and al Qaeda.")
