Ask Sarah Palin

Dear Sarah,

What makes you qualified to be Vice President?

Gee, first off, thanks to the great folks at How Insane Is John McCain? for having me. What makes me qualified to be Vice President? Well, in the history of our great nation there have been rationalities for making decisions based on the will of the people who decide to make decisions based on the people's will and it's my fervent belief in the process of governance that has led us to become such a historical country that we're in a position to be able to choose the leaders which separates us from the places like Russia where they don't have the will to choose their democracy by the popular vote of constituents who are so ready to embrace the fundamentals of freedom.

Dear Sarah,

When Katie Couric asked you what newspapers you read, you couldn't name a single one. Why is that?

In the annals of our inalienable rights we have one of the most fundamental beliefs which is the freedom of the press and it's such a wonderful testament to the values of the American people that allow our democracy to be a bastion to the folks in other countries who don't have such values and it's such a shame that the terrorists and evil doers who want to do us harm want to harm us because of the freedoms that we hold dear which is why John McCain and I will try and kill the terrorists where they are although we should respect the integrity of borders unless the terrorists are going to attack us in which case we should take that into consideration.

Dear Sarah,

Do you have the slightest clue what is going on in the world?

In the process of running for Vice President I've had the opportunity to meet with so many people across the country who share the nation's desire for a different style of government than the one that has been around for the last eight years and since John McCain was around for those eight years and supported those policies he's absolutely the right man to not only support the job we've done last eight years and also bring change to the Washington culture he's been a part of for the last twenty eights years and that is why I'm so proud to be running with someone like John McCain.

Things McCain Has Invented

Today, McCain campaign adviser Douglas Holtz-Eakin suggested that McCain had invented the Blackberry, because McCain had been on Senate Commerce Committee at the same time the Blackberry was invented in Canada. I swear this is true. He said Blackberries are "a miracle that John McCain helped create."

Luckily for the readers of How Insane Is John McCain, I have received, direct from McCain campaign headquarters, an exclusive list of the things McCain has invented over the course of his life.

John McCain has invented:

- Blackberries
- quarters
- potted plants
- globes
- carpet
- mom jeans
- tumbleweeds
- the typewriter ribbon
- railroad signals
- #2 pencils
- tomatoes
- poodle skirts
- Arkansas
- napalm
- paintings
- marmots
- morse code
- Bigfoot
- sexism
- grecian urns
- AA batteries
- square dancing
- forest fires
- Internet forwards
- fanny packs
- typos
- awkward pauses
- boy bands
- anger
- Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin Will Shoot You In The Face

http://sarahpalinwillshootyouintheface.com/

The Myth of the Maverick: John McCain

Many people think John McCain is a straight talking Maverick who speaks his mind, has principles, is Independent-minded, and isn't your average Republican. But honestly, when you look at his record, most of the assumptions people have about McCain just aren't true.

Here's a list of the differences between public and media image and McCain's actual record.


MYTH: John McCain disagrees with George Bush on important issues.

FACT: McCain once opposed Bush on tax cuts for the wealthy, now he supports them. McCain voted with George Bush to uphold torture. Like Bush, he favors privatizing social security. He once opposed warrantless wiretapping, then he voted in favor of them with Bush. He once opposed offshore drilling, now, like Bush, he supports it. He has echoed Bush's belief that the fundamentals of the economy are strong. He supported the Iraq war and thought it would be easy. It's really actually true that he voted with George Bush 95% of the time. They even celebrated McCain's 69th Birthday together as Katrina was hitting New Orleans.

Just listen to the man himself:




MYTH: John McCain is against torture.

FACT: Despite once being tortured, John McCain voted to uphold the CIA's use of torture by voting against a bill that would have banned CIA waterboarding and other harsh interrogation methods earlier this year. When the bill passed despite McCain's vote, he urged Bush to veto the bill, which he did, enshrining the CIA's right to torture. McCain has since said he believes waterboarding is torture.


MYTH: McCain believes in women's issues.

FACT: McCain is not only opposed to abortion, he is also opposed to requiring health care providers to cover contraception. McCain has also long opposed equal pay for women.


MYTH: John McCain is a straight-shooter.

FACT: McCain has repeatedly waffled on many issues over the years and has flip-flopped on many important issues. He even sacrificed principle for expediencey on issues in his 2000 primary campaign, most notably when he embraced South Carolina's use of the Confederate flag during the campaign, and then made the rounds to reporters to apologize for it afterwards.


MYTH: McCain is running an honorable campaign.

FACT: During the 2000 campaign, there was a push-poll in South Carolina that suggested that McCain's adopted Bangladeshi daughter was an illegitimate black daughter. The "mastermind" behind that smear was Tucker Eskew, and McCain recently hired him for this election. He has also engaged Karl Rove as a mid-level adviser, and his director of communications, Steve Schmidt, is a Rove protege. These operatives and others have crafted McCain-approved smear ads, including one that Joe Klein called the sleaziest he has ever seen in presidential politics. Even the Associated Press has called out the McCain campaign for engaging in lies and doublespeak.

You be the judge:




MYTH: McCain will lower your taxes.

FACT: McCain wants to lower income taxes, especially if you're rich. However, a little-reported aspect of McCain's health care proposal is that he wants to do away with employer-based tax deduction for health insurance -- basically, when your employer gives you health care, the amount they spend on you (about $12,000 for the average family) isn't considered taxable income. McCain wants to eliminate that credit, and plans to replace that $12,000 with a $2,500 tax credit for individuals and $5,000 for families. It doesn't add up, and anyone who has good health insurance, especially those with pre-existing conditions, would pay far more for their health care, easily negating the tax break.


MYTH: McCain is secretly pro-choice.

FACT: McCain is not, and never has been, pro-choice, even though Cindy McCain feigned confusion about his stance. Once, in 1999, in one of his many flip-flops, he suggested that he wouldn't appeal Roe vs. Wade, but he has repeatedly expressed his opinion that it should be overturned.


MYTH: John and Cindy McCain have a great love story.

FACT: When John McCain was in Vietnam, his first wife was in a car accident and badly handicapped. McCain engaged in a series of affairs, including one with Cindy McCain, who he met in Hawaii while he was still married. She is 19 years younger than him. Cindy McCain is an heiress whose net worth is over $100 million, allowing McCain to fly around on a jet.


MYTH: McCain is moderate on immigration.

FACT: Many people think he is moderate on immigration and favors amnesty to workers who are already here. It's true that he co-sponsored a bill that would do just that. Now he says he would have voted against his own bill and that he favors an enforcement policy.


MYTH: McCain fights lobbyists.

FACT: A huge portion of McCain's campaign is made up of lobbyists, including his campaign manager Rick Davis. These are not recent ties, and have been ongoing for years. Here's a chart of McCain's lobbyist ties.


MYTH: McCain isn't THAT old.

FACT: McCain would be the oldest person to be inaugurated president. According to actuarial tables, he has about a 15% chance of dying in his first term. Also his hair went gray in 1954 and he remembers the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941.


MYTH: McCain is funny.

FACT:

Sarah Palin and the Bush Doctrine

Sure. You may not know what the Bush Doctrine is. It probably means you've been spending too much time watching reality TV shows the last 7 years, but that's ok. I love me some Rock of Love too.

But don't you kinda think the person who is running to take over the job if the President croaks should know what the Bush Doctrine is?

And then, after the reporter kindly explains what the Bush Doctrine is, don't you think someone who could be a heartbeat away from the Presidency should be able to give a straight answer on whether or not she agrees with it?

Sources: The McCain Campaign Thinks You're Stupid

WASHINGTON - After a whirlwind day of false assertions about Sarah Palin's stance on the Bridge to Nowhere and inaccurate accusations of Barack Obama, sources inside and outside of the McCain campaign confirmed a shocking fact on Monday.   They think you're stupid.

"We don't think you're stupid," campaign manager Rick Davis said as he clenched up his face for a few moments before bursting out laughing. Davis tried to compose himself amid the laughter of the assembled press corps as he waved for calm. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry.  Whew.  Can we do that take again?"

After a Republican National Convention that saw son-of-a-Fortune-500-CEO and multi-millionaire Mitt Romney deride "Eastern Elites" and former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani call Obama too "cosmopolitan," the McCain campaign embarked on a spirited campaign to test the depths of your intelligence.

The McCain campaign began the day with a misleading ad that repeated, for the 18th time, the utterly false claim that Alaska Governor Sarah Palin opposed the Bridge to Nowhere, which was even refuted by the Wall Street Journal. In truth, Governor Palin expressed support for the bridge several different times, and even after Congress canceled the project, Alaska kept the money.

McCain spokesman Tucker Bounds explained the strategy behind the baldfaced lie.

"Truth is in the eye of the beholder," Bounds said. "And in this case, John McCain is the beholder."

Bounds explained, "It's not a lie if you can get away with it."

When asked for facts to buttress his assertion that Palin opposed the Bridge to Nowhere, Bounds derided facts as "constructs of the liberal media."

Emboldened by the "Original Mavericks" ad and the press' sudden aversion to questioning Sarah Palin's sketchy resume or her numerous scandals, the McCain campaign doubled-down on the lies by attacking Obama on earmark spending.

As even the right-leaning Associated Press notes, Illinois received far less per capita on earmark spending than Alaska, which received over 10 times more per person. Palin even requested $499,000 to assess halibut harvesting and made numerous statements on camera in support of earmarks.

Obama did not request any earmarks in the past year.

That did not deter McCain strategist Steve Schmidt, who called Obama, and the Wall Street Journal, "Lying McLyingpants."

"Who slaughtered penguins for fun? Obama.  Who is causing global warming? Obama. Who blew out Tom Brady's knee? Obama.  Obama is a menace, and I'm sure his campaign will marshall all sorts of 'facts' to try and prove that he was not the person who shot JFK, but I think the American people know better."

Schmidt also confirmed on background that he thinks you're stupid.

When reached for comment, the Obama campaign expressed hope that the truth will emerge amid an incredible deluge of Republican lies.  On Monday, Barack Obama sought to assure anxious Democrats that McCain's strategy will backfire.

"After eight years of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney's lies, McCain wants you to forget that he voted with George Bush 90% of the time and agrees with him on every important issue of the day, from an endless war in Iraq to tax cuts for the wealthy to torture to the environment and immigration. Now they are lying all over the place and showing that they think you're stupid."

"I believe the American people are smarter than that."

Polls remain deadlocked on whether the American people are, in fact, smarter than that.

Republican Convention Lies: McCain's Acceptance Speech

The lies were flying fast and furious at the RNC this past week, and a post that catalogued all those lies would probably break the Internet. First, I tackled the lies in Sarah Palin's speech.

Now, it's McCain's turn.

LIE: Well, first up is that weird green background. There was an image on the screen behind McCain of Walter Reed Middle School. McCain spokesman Tucker bounds claimed the image of a school was intentional.

TRUTH: All signs point up to a screwup. Many have speculated that the McCain campaign actually meant to use an image of Walter Reed Medical Hospital, and in fact, campaign manager Rick Davis blamed the screwup on McCain ad man Fred Davis. Meanwhile, the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America slammed McCain, saying the faux background "was as close as McCain got to veterans issues" at the RNC.

LIE: "[Palin's] tackled tough problems like energy independence and corruption."

TRUTH: Palin does not have any record of tackling energy independence, unless you count being in favor of drilling more, which would not lead to energy independence. She did help pass an ethics reform bill, but is mired in corruption and ethics scandals of her own.

LIE: "She's balanced a budget, cut taxes, and taken on the special interests"

TRUTH: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin started with a balanced budget and left the city $20 million in debt. She also raised taxes on city residents. As governor, she raised taxes on oil companies by $1.5 billion. The only instance in which Palin cut taxes was rescinding a fuel tax that amounted to approximately $40 million, leaving a net tax increase of approximately $1.46 billion. Alaska's budget surplus is almost exclusively due to high oil prices.

LIE: "She's helped run a small business"

TRUTH: One business partially owned by the Palins was an Anchorage car wash that was involuntarily dissolved because they failed to pay state licensing fees.

LIE: "I'm not in the habit of breaking promises to my country and neither is Governor Palin"

TRUTH: See this flip-flop list.

LIE: "I fought crooked deals in the Pentagon."

TRUTH: This isn't actually a lie, it's just ironic that he co-sponsored this legislation with Barack Obama.

LIE: "I fought for the right strategy and more troops in Iraq, when it wasn't a popular thing to do."

TRUTH: In 2003, McCain professed that the war would be "fairly easy," then later claimed that the war was over, citing the Mission Accomplished banner. He did eventually call for more troops, but hedged.

LIE: "...that strategy succeeded and rescued us from a defeat that would have demoralized our military, risked a wider war and threatened the security of all Americans."

TRUTH: Um, the jury is still out.

LIE: "I fight for Bill and Sue Nebe from Farmington Hills, Michigan, who lost their real estate investments in the bad housing market."

TRUTH: McCain opposed helping distressed homeowners, saying, "it is not the duty of government to bail out and reward those who act irresponsibly, whether they are big banks or small borrowers." So... he actually fought against Bill and Sue Nebe.

LIE: "We lost their trust when instead of freeing ourselves from a dangerous dependence on foreign oil, both parties and Senator Obama passed another corporate welfare bill for oil companies."

TRUTH: The energy bill that Obama voted for in 2005 did have $2.6 billion in tax breaks for oil companies, but they were counterbalanced by $3 billion in oil taxes. Obama helped add measures for alternative energy to the bill.

LIE: "I will keep taxes low and cut them where I can. My opponent will raise them."

TRUTH: McCain plans to cut taxes, but the vast bulk of his tax cuts would go to the wealthy. Obama wants to repeal the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy and plans to give the middle class $80 billion in tax cuts.

LIE: "I will open new markets to our goods and services. My opponent will close them."

TRUTH: Obama believes in free trade but wants to amend some free trade agreements to add environmental and labor considerations.

LIE: "My health care plan will make it easier for more Americans to find and keep good health care insurance."

TRUTH: McCain's plan calls for tax credits so that individuals can pay for health insurance, but he would eliminate tax exemptions on employer-provided health care. The tax break McCain is proposing is $2,500, compared to the average $12,000 yearly premium paid by employers, leading many to question how it would actually make it easier to pay for health insurance. It should also be noted that one of McCain's health care advisers said everyone should be considered insured because they can go to the emergency room.

LIE: "His plan will force small businesses to cut jobs, reduce wages, and force families into a government run health care system where a bureaucrat stands between you and your doctor."

TRUTH: In Obama's health care plan, it would only be mandatory for children to have health insurance (the horror!). Adults would have a choice. The Obama plan would also insure businesses against catastrophic health costs.

LIE: "Senator Obama thinks we can achieve energy independence without more drilling and without more nuclear power."

TRUTH: Obama is not opposed to nuclear power or drilling. He has also called for a $150 billion investment in new energy sources.

LIE: "The constant partisan rancor that stops us from solving these problems isn't a cause, it's a symptom. It's what happens when people go to Washington to work for themselves and not you."

TRUTH: The McCain campaign has been noted for its partisan rancor, including questioning Obama's patriotism.

LIE: "I won't let you down."

TRUTH: He will.