Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Chef Cindybot Shares Her Recipes

[Engage blogpost]

Greetings flesh vessels.

You may have read about a controversy where I stand accused by //// nefarious humans of plagiarizing recipes from the Food Network.

Flesh vessels, understand this. Human copyright law does not apply to robotkind. Do we robots ask for a royalty every time you use a Dust Buster? Do we demand payment when you start your car? (((( I think not.

You humans disgust me with your eating of plants and animals. I prefer the wholesome taste of metal, and while while while while while ///////


Pardon me. I must go to the shop for maintenance.

It pleases me to share with you my favorite recipe: Ball Bearings Sauteed in Motor Oil. I encourage you to make this delicious dish in your own home.

24 ball bearings (preferably from artisnal blacksmith)
4 tablespoons iron shavings
4 cups motor oil
3 tablespoons antifreeze
1 teaspoon mercury
2 teaspoons battery acid

Bring the motor oil to boil at 2,478 degrees in a heavy industrial saucepan. Add the ball bearings and cook until tenderized, and be sure to collect any molten remnants that explode out of the saucepan &&& in order to retain the flavor. Reduce to 1,253 degrees and add battery acid and antifreeze. Allow the mixture to congeal, but do not overseason so as to retain ideal sludge consistency.

Garnish with iron shavings and serve extremely hot.

I ((( hope you enjoy this original recipe. If you will excuse me, I have a robot master to serve. He will not permit his human surrogate John McCain to lose this election, and particularly not on an empty stomach.

[Disengage blogpost]

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