Wednesday, April 2, 2008

The John McCain Comedy Tour

Hey there, wheelers and dealers! McCain campaign manager and Verizon lobbyist Rick Davis here, and have I got a deal for you. Trust me 18-25 year olds, you haven't seen anything this radically tubular since the Razr flipped your lids!

For a limited time only, for the low low price $2,300, I'm pleased to offer you tickets on the John McCain Comedy Tour!! See our wise-cracking Senator from Arizona tell some of his favorite jokes!!! You'll laugh harder than you do while listening to Tenacious D on Verizon VCast. I love Josh Black!

Here's a sneak preview of some of Johnny McCain's best stuff. Have you heard the one about suicide bombers?



Oh, he slays me! Get it? Suicide bomber?? Slay? Ha ha! McCain's not the only funny one on the Straight Talk Express.

Or how about this one about two guys from Ireland?



Well campers, truth be told I don't know if I got that one. But the Republicans in the background freaking loved it!!

So remember, send in your checks for the federal campaign limit of $2,300. Oh what the hell, go ahead and send a check from your dead grandmother too.

And remember folks, cell phones don't cause cancer, they cure cancer!! This is Rick Davis, hanging up.

17 comments:

JollyRoger said...

I'm forming ComedyPAC, which should be able to bundle up a whole bunch of McCavein Money, as long as he keeps the zingers coming.

But you don't have to have sacks full of PAC money to get closer to Johnny. All that's required is for you to be female, blond, young, and willing to close your pretty little eyes and take it. Johnny will "joke" with you all night long-and he'll push for passage of your favorite bill the next day! Trade human capital for Capitol influence today!

Anonymous said...

So two junior staffers fall off the Hill and one of them decides to start an "anonymous" blog and the other one comments in it. Or wait - are they twins?

How Insane Is John McCain? said...

Anon-

You must be the one who arrived at the site by googling "John McCain campaign internship."

Welcome.

Anonymous said...

No, I was heading for the toilets. Be right back.

How Insane Is John McCain? said...

Haha.. I love crazy Republicans! Please stop by any time.

Anonymous said...

I am no Republican. I saw your post on the WSJ.com site:

My intern Joe Lieberman.
Comment by How Insane Is John McCain? - April 2, 2008 at 12:05 pm


But you have issues, very clearly.

Here is a problem, one that America has had going back at least a century: it strikes out from weakness. From the pre-Democrats who pushed the U.S. into the War of 1812 to various administrations since, you have situations where the nation did not follow the proper path.

It is President McCain, and not Emperor McCain, that is in play here, constrained by all the normal checks and balances that really do exist in the presidency.

If you do not want to believe me, listen to some of the White House Lydon J. tapes from the National Archives covering topics like segregation in calls from folks in the South.

"A politician can make war, but a warrior can make peace" - do you think that in the 1970s any Democratic administration would have been "strong" enough to start the path to China? No, which is why "It took Nixon" is the phrase most closely associated with that event.

So - rather than look for character flaws in a candidate, why don't you use your time and reasonable faculties to drive discourse about the state of the nation, and the next 100 years, instead of angry humor?

How Insane Is John McCain? said...

It only takes one president to launch a nuclear holocaust that ends life on the planet as we knows it. My goal is that it is not President McCain, but rather some other president who leads to the extermination of life on Earth. If I can make one person vote for the other guy, well, then I've done my job.

How Insane Is John McCain? said...

And by the way, since when was a president constrained by checks and balances?

Anonymous said...

You have a poor understanding of Congress and perhaps POTUS if you think he can roll out of bed and decide to bomb Greece, Guam or Guatemala just because he has eaten a bad banana for breakfast.

You would be doing everyone a service if you put some energy or drive into a constructive discussion of America's role in the world, with specifics. Then you will sponsor debate and perhaps have more influence on voter intentions that you may first understand.

How Insane Is John McCain? said...

anon-

The people of Grenada and Panama want their non-congressionally approved wars back.

Anonymous said...

Panama was telegraphed well in advance - and what did congress do?

Grenada - there are larger training missions each year than that.

Essentially these are military actions that "everyone" wanted to see get done. It may have seemed to be a war for the CIAs man in Panama, but all the more why you need to get a debate going - why was the U.S. setting up local drug-dealing enforcers in the first place?

If these are the scale of what a President can "get away with" then Hollywood is going to have to recall a stack of movies.

Anonymous said...

anon,

What the hell are you blathering on about, you great loon?

Anonymous said...

Hey how insane is john mccain?, you forgot to log in before you made your useless comment.

Don't like the other kids in your sandbox? Go home.

JollyRoger said...

Pretty funny stuff right here, anon. Maybe Johnny can use you as a warmup act.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, other anon, I didn't forget to log in. I'm not the proprietor of this here blog. Don't let that interrupt your ranting about...well, whatever you're on about. Civility? Reason? Nigga please, in case you haven't noticed all the presidential candidates are power-hungry, Imperialist lunatics who in a sane country wouldn't be allowed to run for State Comptroller, let alone President Of the Motherfuckin United States. And you want civility (I'm guessing here, your smug bullshit is indecipherable)? For reals?

We shouldn't look for character flaws in someone whose running for Emperor? Come on dude, be real here. What kind of insane argument is that? Shit, I insist these fuckers get piss tests and a battery of psych work-ups before they can even debate.

Anonymous said...

^^ nice blog!! ^@^

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