Sources: The McCain Campaign Thinks You're Stupid

WASHINGTON - After a whirlwind day of false assertions about Sarah Palin's stance on the Bridge to Nowhere and inaccurate accusations of Barack Obama, sources inside and outside of the McCain campaign confirmed a shocking fact on Monday.   They think you're stupid.

"We don't think you're stupid," campaign manager Rick Davis said as he clenched up his face for a few moments before bursting out laughing. Davis tried to compose himself amid the laughter of the assembled press corps as he waved for calm. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry.  Whew.  Can we do that take again?"

After a Republican National Convention that saw son-of-a-Fortune-500-CEO and multi-millionaire Mitt Romney deride "Eastern Elites" and former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani call Obama too "cosmopolitan," the McCain campaign embarked on a spirited campaign to test the depths of your intelligence.

The McCain campaign began the day with a misleading ad that repeated, for the 18th time, the utterly false claim that Alaska Governor Sarah Palin opposed the Bridge to Nowhere, which was even refuted by the Wall Street Journal. In truth, Governor Palin expressed support for the bridge several different times, and even after Congress canceled the project, Alaska kept the money.

McCain spokesman Tucker Bounds explained the strategy behind the baldfaced lie.

"Truth is in the eye of the beholder," Bounds said. "And in this case, John McCain is the beholder."

Bounds explained, "It's not a lie if you can get away with it."

When asked for facts to buttress his assertion that Palin opposed the Bridge to Nowhere, Bounds derided facts as "constructs of the liberal media."

Emboldened by the "Original Mavericks" ad and the press' sudden aversion to questioning Sarah Palin's sketchy resume or her numerous scandals, the McCain campaign doubled-down on the lies by attacking Obama on earmark spending.

As even the right-leaning Associated Press notes, Illinois received far less per capita on earmark spending than Alaska, which received over 10 times more per person. Palin even requested $499,000 to assess halibut harvesting and made numerous statements on camera in support of earmarks.

Obama did not request any earmarks in the past year.

That did not deter McCain strategist Steve Schmidt, who called Obama, and the Wall Street Journal, "Lying McLyingpants."

"Who slaughtered penguins for fun? Obama.  Who is causing global warming? Obama. Who blew out Tom Brady's knee? Obama.  Obama is a menace, and I'm sure his campaign will marshall all sorts of 'facts' to try and prove that he was not the person who shot JFK, but I think the American people know better."

Schmidt also confirmed on background that he thinks you're stupid.

When reached for comment, the Obama campaign expressed hope that the truth will emerge amid an incredible deluge of Republican lies.  On Monday, Barack Obama sought to assure anxious Democrats that McCain's strategy will backfire.

"After eight years of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney's lies, McCain wants you to forget that he voted with George Bush 90% of the time and agrees with him on every important issue of the day, from an endless war in Iraq to tax cuts for the wealthy to torture to the environment and immigration. Now they are lying all over the place and showing that they think you're stupid."

"I believe the American people are smarter than that."

Polls remain deadlocked on whether the American people are, in fact, smarter than that.