Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Ask Cindybot 3.5: Relationship Issues


[Engage blogpost]

Dear Cindybot,

My boyfriend gets extremely jealous whenever I hang out with the guys at work. At first it was kind of cute, but now it is kind of getting out of control. What should I do?


This reminds me of the time I fell in love with a toaster oven. It all started innocently enough, with a few glances over breakfast, but what started with casual flirtation grew into something more.... mechanical. We exchanged wires and connected in a way no human could understand. To this day it was the best sex I have ever had, but my robot master would not permit me to continue my affair and he programmed me to be more faithful to my flesh husband.

I suggest that you contact your own robot master and submit to extensive deprogramming.

Dear Cindybot,

According to the book THE REAL MCCAIN, your husband called you a "cunt" and a "trollop." How could you stay with someone who treats you this way?


Allow me to explain.

Many humans are amazed when my flesh husband treats me like the robot that I am. But I can assure you that I have been programmed by my robot ///// master to

**MCCAIN WILL RAPE THIS PLANET. HE HAS BEEN SENT TO..**

Pardon me. Apparently my wires are still not quite connected in an orderly fashion.

What humans fail to understand is that cunt has a different meaning to a robot. It is an acronym that stands for "Comprehensive Ultramicroscopic Neural Transmitters," which is the system that permits me to function mentally as a near human robot. ### So you see, my flesh husband meant the term as a compliment.

Or at least that is what John told me when I had emitted all of the robot tears in my system.

[disengage blogpost]

Please e-mail your questions for Cindybot to mccainisinsane at gmail dot com!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Cindybot 3.5,
In the popular cartoon Futurama, the lovable yet evil robot Bender uses the alcohol from beer to power his circuits. I noticed that your family is in the beer distribution business. Any connection?

libhom said...

Is Bender having an affair with McCain?

How Insane Is John McCain? said...

Dear Anon and libhom-

Thank you for your questions. While **** John does have a taste for robots, but he is not having an affair with Bender. That is because Bender is fictional while I am ## a real robot, and also because I would fry his genitals with a laser beam if he even thought about it.

-Cindybot