[Engage blogpost]
Dear Cindybot,
My boyfriend gets extremely jealous whenever I hang out with the guys at work. At first it was kind of cute, but now it is kind of getting out of control. What should I do?
This reminds me of the time I fell in love with a toaster oven. It all started innocently enough, with a few glances over breakfast, but what started with casual flirtation grew into something more.... mechanical. We exchanged wires and connected in a way no human could understand. To this day it was the best sex I have ever had, but my robot master would not permit me to continue my affair and he programmed me to be more faithful to my flesh husband.
I suggest that you contact your own robot master and submit to extensive deprogramming.
Dear Cindybot,
According to the book THE REAL MCCAIN, your husband called you a "cunt" and a "trollop." How could you stay with someone who treats you this way?
Allow me to explain.
Many humans are amazed when my flesh husband treats me like the robot that I am. But I can assure you that I have been programmed by my robot ///// master to
**MCCAIN WILL RAPE THIS PLANET. HE HAS BEEN SENT TO..**
Pardon me. Apparently my wires are still not quite connected in an orderly fashion.
What humans fail to understand is that cunt has a different meaning to a robot. It is an acronym that stands for "Comprehensive Ultramicroscopic Neural Transmitters," which is the system that permits me to function mentally as a near human robot. ### So you see, my flesh husband meant the term as a compliment.
Or at least that is what John told me when I had emitted all of the robot tears in my system.
[disengage blogpost]
Please e-mail your questions for Cindybot to mccainisinsane at gmail dot com!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Ask Cindybot 3.5: Relationship Issues
Labels:
Cindybot,
John McCain
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3 comments:
Dear Cindybot 3.5,
In the popular cartoon Futurama, the lovable yet evil robot Bender uses the alcohol from beer to power his circuits. I noticed that your family is in the beer distribution business. Any connection?
Is Bender having an affair with McCain?
Dear Anon and libhom-
Thank you for your questions. While **** John does have a taste for robots, but he is not having an affair with Bender. That is because Bender is fictional while I am ## a real robot, and also because I would fry his genitals with a laser beam if he even thought about it.
-Cindybot
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