WASHINGTON - After a long primary campaign in which he has been forced to answer questions about his unstable former pastor, flag lapel pins, and assorted crazy people he once met a long time ago, all while consuming a bewildering array of fatty food products in crappy diners across America, Barack Obama announced on Monday that running for president completely sucks.
"This blows. I'm sick and tired of running for president," he said. "Now watch Fox News quote me saying 'that blows' and try and convince people I snort cocaine."
Campaign officials admit that the beleaguered Obama has been questioning why in the hell anyone would even want to be president.
"Oh sure," campaign manager David Plouffe admitted. "Just the other day he told me that no sane person would ever want to be president. Then I reminded him that he's running against two people who actually are insane. That got him through the day."
Political analysts are mixed about how Obama's sudden realization about the sheer suckitude of running for president will affect the race.
"Jeremiah Wright, Jeremiah Wright, Jeremiah Wright, Jeremiah Wright, Jeremiah Wright," Bill O'Reilly told reporters, "Jeremiah Wright, Jeremiah Wright, Weather Underground, Jeremiah Wright."
Obama confirmed that there were times he wondered if this whole president thing could possibly be worth it.
"That situation room in the White House had better be seriously James Bond. I'm talking exploding pens and cars with missile launchers. Otherwise I might as well have just stayed at home and gotten some sleep this past year."
Hillary Clinton was reached for comment Monday at an Indiana greasy spoon, in which she consumed 18 home cooked donuts, conversed awkwardly with 74 senile senior citizens, and campaigned for 62 hours without sleep. When asked if she had tired of the campaign, Senator Clinton grabbed this reporter by the lapel and whispered, "I love this shit."
Monday, April 28, 2008
Barack Obama Realizes Running For President Completely Sucks
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5 comments:
It wouldn't surprise me if he actually felt this way. With all the sucking up and back flips and bullshit one must endure... laced with the lies and false face attitude one must take with many voters, I KNOW that I couldn't handle it.
Good one.
(Generic dramatic news theme plays, cheesy red, white and blue graphics swirl, and the cameras zoom in on two perky local newscasters.)
KATHY SNORGLETOTS: Welcome back, Des Moines! Today's top story: Is Barack H. Obama even unfitter to be president than a minority of the Democratic party originally thought? An unnamed wire service has released an exclusive exposé to a John McCain fan blog called "How Insane Is John McCain?" It quotes Barack Obama as saying, "I snort cocaine" in a secret meeting with a few hundred of his North Carolina supporters. He goes on to say, "This blows." "Blow" is a common slang term for cocaine.
JOHN WELKSLEYBE: Wow! If I were a voting man, I certainly would not vote for this unrepentant drug addict!
This is good. Thanks. Much needed, esp after listening to Hillary's campaign spin around how truly terrific things are going for her.
坐月子時所需的坐月子餐，喜樂月子餐外送服務是您最佳選擇。
it's so good~
制服設計代表著我們的專業
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