Last year when someone asked you if you thought condoms helped prevent AIDS you said you were "stumped." I assume you have since had some time to Wikipedia this. What do you think about it now?
The hell with all this condom flimflam! You know what's wrong with you young people? All you care about is sex. Sex sex sex! Goddamn depraved heathens. Course I don't mind the ladies showing a little leg, you understand. I chased some tail when I was a young buck. Condoms. Bah. You're a bunch of ninnies. In my day we took our crabs like men.
Today Elizabeth Edwards pointed out that YOU wouldn't be covered by your own health care plan since you have preexisting melanoma. What do you have to say to her?
What the hell do I need health insurance for, I'm running for president! Here, son. Look. Feel this bicep. No, I want you to. What the hell are you scared of, feel my goddamn arm! There. You feel that? Isn't that the bicep of a 60 year old? This body is a finely tuned machine. Here. Punch me in the stomach. Punch me in the stomach! Ah. You know, I could really kick some ass in my day.
Dear "Babykiller" McCain,
HUMAN LIFE IS PRECIOUS. Why are you in favor of stem cell research you baby cell killer!!! You know who goes to hell? People who support stem cell research!!! God is in every cell!!!! You're going to hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jesus Christ these people are nuts. Hey Lieberman, is it too late for me to become a Democrat? Lieberman??? LIEBERMAN! Oh there you are, why didn't you.... what the... why are you all wet? Did you wet the bed again? DID YOU WET THE BED AGAIN?? Damn it, Lieberman, you're washing those sheets!
What a pussy.
Please e-mail your questions for John McCain to mccainisinsane at gmail dot com!